Stuff That Happens To Me

This really happened. Swear it.

Went to Yamba and stayed at Angourie Rainforest Resort. Decided to have 30 minute hand massage. Sounded interesting whilst not being painful and / or intrusive like other types of massage. Anyway.

Walk in.
Spa Lady: "oh, you're pregnant.
Me (dying a little): "er no. But I just had a baby! "
SL: "not just fat then?"
Me (whimpy) "no."
SL: "how old is bub?"
Me: "6 weeks old."

She's not. She's older than that. But like I'm going to tell SL that! In fact was going to lie even more and say she was 2 weeks old, but might not have been believable.

This could only happen to me.

If I knew what the hell a "#" does I might have created a "#" entitled precisely "shit that could only happen to me."

Here's the thing. You NEVER say to a woman "are you pregnant?" EVEN IF she is in labour. You don't.

Freak Accident!

Hubby has been injured in a freak-gardening-accident. Somehow gigantic gardening scissors clipped his leg. Three times. It needed stitches. Six. This was very traumatic for everyone involved.

Hubby was then under strict doctors orders to not move from couch and not shower for 48 hours.

I carefully pointed out that I had been able to walk around AND shower 24 hours after having needle pushed into spine and a person extracted from my abdomen with a scalpel.

Alas. A man's pain can never be fully understood by a woman.

This is just a tounge-in-cheek account of something that was quite scary at the time. Hubby has been amazing at looking after me for entire pregnancy and recovery. I couldn't find better support anywhere. So he deserved a rest.

But. Just saying.

Naughty Crankypants goes on holiday

When bub was born we ended up in hospital for a week. Got transferred from big-busy-hospital to small-peaceful-hospital in countryside overlooking mountains etcetera, rather like holiday. It helped that I was almost alone in ward - and got lucky and scored the only private room for the first two nights! By "lucky" I mean had meltdown and cry declaring only way could possibly go on was if got private room with ensuite.

See, previous night at big hospital had spent rocking bub in loos as bub was easily the loudest baby in entire hospital. And cried all night. Also we were sharing a room.

At new hospital bub quickly established herself under the nickname "Naughty Crankypants."

But man. Everybody spends entire lives complaining about hospitals and the care offered. So this is to say thank you to hospitals, the nurses and doctors who first saved both our lives and then gave us a holiday. Thank you!

Catch Up

Catch up today with antenatal group.

Chose the totally logical meeting point of... a pub. Think hubby and I simply do not know how to organise catch ups anywhere else, due to lack of experience.

It was great to see everyone plus bubs - and listen to every birthing, baby and breastfeeding experience. No one's had an easy ride.

Sometimes early motherhood is a lonely existence. Both because, well, you're home alone most of the time with baby - but also because you feel so alone in the world wondering if anybody else has struggled like this, do other women cry when they breastfeed or just ME?

They do. It's not so lonely after all.

PS. Having a baby is still great. I love her and couldn't imagine life without. That doesn't mean it's all smooth sailing. The devil is in the details, as they say. But it's going better and better.

Octopus arms

In my new series "helpful hints for new moms" part one:

How many arms do you need to breastfeed in public?

1 - to hold baby.
2 - to hold breastfeeding equipment.
3 - to hold down baby's flailing escapee arms.
4 - to hold scarf or similar over self and baby for modesty.
5 - to hold coffecup.
6 - to hold phone.
7 - to keep waking up baby which keeps falling asleep like time is of no consequence and you do not care about exposing selves in public.
8 - to give middle finger to onlookers (optional).

Also, breastfeeding hurts. Many Byron women make it look easy and natural and this can make you feel a total failure as a mother for not turning into "Madonna with child" within five minutes. You're not alone.

Baby baby

It's all going well. It's almost been 6 weeks. The good news is I can, at 6 weeks (apparently some kind of magic number) resume important activities such as driving and... and doing yoga? Nah.
I plan to take up yoga again. Soon. Within a year, definitely.  You see, for a bout of Bikram you need a three hour block. Baby currently allows for an occasional 20 minute block. If hubby is around.
Also, taking a medication which lists "weight gain" as one of its side effects. And as you know I am lazy. Why bother with exercise if going to put on weight anyway?

Love my new life. Love it.

Hurrah!

I'm back!

Testing

Well?

Our Baby

Born May 1, 2013.

4.27 kg, 56 cm - I apparently know how to grow a big baby. The short version is: 21 hour labour, emergency c-section, a week in hospital and having boobs referred to as "milk making equipment."

But she is here now.

Being 41 Weeks Pregnant Comes With Unique Challenges

You thought you were feeling heavy at 36 weeks - well, hahaha! The wisdom of hindsight.

You were still relatively light back then, now - NOW - you are heavy. No more outings. No way. No more swims. No more interacting with public; which strangely believes itself to have acquired new and unprecedented rights to comment on your appearance.

Examples from today:

"You look like you are about to explode!" (Followed by hormonal crying on husbands shoulder)

"Oh My God!"

"You need to get on a trampoline." (Right - I can barely walk thank you very much)

"That baby hasn't even dropped yet, at least a week to go." (Last things you want to hear; and by the way - who made all of you bloody experts on pregnancy?)


Time to take yoga teachers advice and simply stay at home. Protect self and baby from ill considered comments, well meaning or not. I try, I try, I try to remember - did I used to treat pregnant women like cute dogs or similar that are more or less available for cuddles and smartass comments? I hope I didn't.

Being pregnant sure has been great, but now... we are ready for step 2. Birth. When? It's torture not knowing when it will start - will it ever start?

My mother is here from Sweden. And hubby's family from down south. After Byron Bay's worst summer ever (I am guessing, but it was pretty bad) I have been delighted to show them a beautiful, sunny, clear water Bay with swims everyday.

Thank you Byron. Without all that beauty I might have felt really down by now. As obviously the guest of honour at this party has failed to show... yet.