On the Road

On our way here for so long. Planned and packed. Waited. Traveled. Lived. Arrived at long last.

Now we're going back again.

Choices.

Positive Thinking

Hubby a little annoyed that I am once again obsessing over the relative safety of air-travel. Like he cannot fathom why I am still thinking about it. And I suppose he's right. Thinking about it will do nothing but cause more stress and anxiety, well before the threat of imminent death presents itself.

A good friend reminded me that we are all here for a limited time. We will not survive life. Just have to make the best of it while we are here. Less obsessing, then.

More embracing of the now. Handling life with calm and composure, not thinking the worst all the time but being positive.






Just one more thing before I start embracing the moment;

I would like to have "some die young" by Laleh playing at my memorial.

Free Laptop

I've my hot little hands on a free lappie. Still have old lappie, but was so peeved with it that it actually got left behind in the land of Oz. As a consequence (indeed the consequences of anger are rarely good) have only had phones to use internet on the entire time we have been away - until now. Smart. Thought about buying new lappie, but hubby is not prone to impulsive purchases (only had two months to look around) so nothing came of it.

Spent a month in Amsterdam, in a small houseboat - passing the time between Bean Bed Time (7pm-ish) and our bedtime (totally a total secret) contemplating life, staring at our smartphones and reading an old copy of "the Beach" which found in mother-in-law's garage. Boring? you ask. Nah. Actually I have decided to redecorate when get home (to Byron Bay) - I'm chucking the TV. FUCK the TV. Mind-numbing, annoying piece of crap. Or well, at least it does not belong in the living-room. Might hide it elsewhere though, for those times one wishes to curl up with a cup of tea and an entire caramel slice; to watch the latest season of Game of Thrones. For example.

Another reason is, bub can't so much as lay eyes on a piece of technology (computer, phone, ipad etc) without going completely bonkers and wailing until she gets hold of it. What is that? No child of mine is watching telly 24-7, that's for sure. So the work of satan will be demoted to manland.

Now it is time for my 6th cup of coffee of the day, needless to say we are still in Sweden. It is Midsummer. I am awake a lot.

Sweden pics!

Awaiting a possible free laptop... :-)

King's Day

Madness.

King's Night

King's Night on the Prinsengracht... this, and of course King's Day - tomorrow - are the biggest celebrations of the year in the Netherlands.

People appear to have gone certifiably mad. There is a loooot of noise. So far bub is asleep, but she is sure to wake up soon. Looking forward to another party with bub! Haha.

Mother in Town!

My own mother has arrived in the Dam! She is keen to play with bub. Woop! Met up this morning, bub spent entire morning howling as I attempted to wash, clean and tidy. But as soon as she was with grandma she was sweet as pie. Streetcred?

Went to the dutch beach yesterday so bub exhausted and full of undigested sand. Having two hour nap waiting for grandma to come visit the boat.

On the Canal

Staying at most decadent accommodation; literally on the Prinsengracht.

Having loads of fun placing bub in open window, holding her but hiding - then listening to hubby describe freaked out looks from tourists on boats. Bub sucks it all up, loving being centre of attention and the most special baby on the canal.

Amsterdam

Countdown

Hubby, in disbelief: "are you still following that bloody Malaysia air thing?"
Me: "get off my phone."

Must learn to delete search history...

But incidentally yes, I'm following it. Might get that valium still. Only might be a problem looking after bub when on valium?

One week left, stopping by Sydney again then destination Europe.

Bub usually wakes up between 4 and 5 am. Today she woke up at 6.30. 6.30! Was giddy with excitement. 6.30 is extreme sleep in these days.

Cot

We hatched this brilliant plan to pack our bags, our umbrella stroller, and our bub a few days before taking off to Europe - and staying with friends in Sydney.

Because obviously can't do four hour drive on same day as flight.

Have called friends and looked into train tickets. Suddenly realization. Hang on. What about cot? Cot for baby to sleep in? Baby? This baby? Oh yeah.

Travel undeniably harder with bub in tow.

But worth it!

Hijacked?

Hijacked? Er, ok. Would never have been my first guess but... I don't know, it somehow feels less frightening than the notion that a plane can simply disintegrate midair. Not, of course, if one were on plane when being hijacked.

In other news have managed to give self severe case of conjunctivitis. How, I kept asking myself, could this have happened?  Then it dawned on me. Forgot to change contacts this month. Buuuuuugger. First time in 17 years. Reward; red itchy eyes into which hubby now has to administer eye drops while I gratefully shout hurry the f... up ok!

Worrying News

So when taking passport details, scanning passports and manually checking them at boarding- all they're really doing is ensuring they'll know who was on the plane if it goes down. No red flags, howling sirens or similar, in case of a, say, stolen passport!

But the information is retrieved within 5 minutes after the fact.

That is just soooo.... reassuring?

Mind you, that whole thing probably has nothing to do with what happened. But still.

Obviously recent aircraft disaster worrying me somewhat. Hubby is all like, yeah, it's way more dangerous to get into a car.

Depending on who's driving I mutter. The fact is, in a car you can always hit the breaks. You can, I don't know, be saved by your seat belt.

A plane crash is something very final. Very final indeed. Why do planes even HAVE seat belts?

Good day ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. It seems we are having some technical difficulties and unfortunately we are about to crash. Please fasten your seat belts. Or. Come to think of it. Don't. Whatever. That is all.

Beautiful South Coast NSW

Homesick?

Still in Sydney. Watched a doco today about fresh produce and farmers markets in the northern rivers area. Byron Bay! I miss thee! How did we get it into our heads that this was a good idea? To let our beautiful home in favour of living out of a suitcase for almost a year?

Just having one of those days.

Doubting decisions. Feeling out of place. Feeling tired. Wanting to be home and not knowing where home is.

Is this good for bub? Does bub care?

She is refusing to go to sleep again without epic battle first. Hubby feeling defeated by bub. Bub keeps on "winning". That is to say, being picked up, carried, rocked, sung to, played with and bottle fed.

But is it really a competition..?

Is she secretly mad at us for not providing enough stability? Or is she bored and in need of more stimulation?

Where should I send that application for mother-of-the-year?

Kafka City

Am sick and therefore extra whiny but just have to touch on the, for me, biggest issue regarding living in the City. Everything takes so bloody long. You cannot get from A to B in Sydney in under an hour. Regardless of where A and B are located. You could be attempting to pop down to the corner shop and it would still bloody well take an hour return.

Had this quick errand yesterday. Simply needed to pay in the bond for the house. Should be a few minutes, right. So looked up address. Looked up three or four organic shops nearby, as well as a Boost.
(Yes, I like Boost Juice)

Expected walk to take around 20 minutes one way. Off we went. Me, hubby, bub and bub's stuff (stroller, sling, nappy bag containing nappies; change of clothes; wetwipes; toys; water; changemat; towel; antibacterial handgel; tissues; teething rusk; dummy and... some other stuff).

Anyway. Walk is longer than we expected. And the entire time in direct sun.

Get to government office handling things like bond payments. Take a number to queue. Very Swedish I thought.
Half an hour later get called up. Explain errand. Hand over card. But! Turns out they do not accept card. They also do not accept cash. Have to walk to bank to get cashiers cheque. Bank 15 minute walk away. Hubby disappears into depts of bank building for 20 minutes before finally cheque has been produced.

Get back to government office. Wait half an hour. Several people look at cheque in bewilderment.

I stand up and yell "Don't tell me you do not accept cheques! Will I stand on my head and pull the cash out of my arse - will you accept that?"

No, didn't. But considered it.

Finally it's sorted.

By this point I am exhausted and feverish; we have missed bub's lunch and bub has passed out in the stroller. I am way beyond going to any organic shops meaning will not be able to cook fresh food for bub. Again. Feel like a terrible mother.

Then cannot find Boost. Because in the City, an address is just an indication of in which bizarre mall something is hidden. Out of energy. Get sprite and chocolate - and undo years of hard work not eating garbage.

South Durras, nsw

Gone Walkabout

So Blogger decided to lock me out. Suddenly password no good. Would not let me sign in via phone. Then laptop was malfunctioning. Laptop really is scheduled for retirement. Has been for years, even though I (the most technologically challenged person you are ever likely to come across) still sort of think it is new. Ish. A modest four years old.

Anyway. Decided to try again today. Was all like, have so much to write about! Would be great to have a blog! Oh! I doooo have a blog!

Have been very busy, ladies and gentlemen. In short summary we are no longer in Byron Bay. Decided to pack up life - cram it into the smallest room in the house (manland) and rent the rest out whilst we go walkabout.

Not something most people do when just had baby. But have always been bad at staying put. Stayed put for so long waiting for said baby. Now she is here, it's time to show her a little bit of the world. House will still be there when we want to come back. We hope.

Funny story there actually. Had somehow managed to push the door to manland shut and turned the key - squeezeed rest of worldly possessions (including baby stuff) into commodore and hit the road. All was well and good.

Got to Bellingen. All was well and good.

Then heard of massive hail storm which had passed through Byron hours after we left. Some damage to house. And garden. In a way happy didn't have to see it. Hubby has handyman lined up to sort out emergencies.

Honestly. Might be better to sell house and live permanently on houseboat in Brunswick (actual idea) or in winnebago (unlikely).

Wits End and Airport Fail

If you wish to familiarize yourself with the destination "wits end" I can inform you that it is located at the end of a 30 hour trip involving two long haul flights, with a baby in tow.

Specifically it's where you finally get home, shower, and hit the sack. Exhausted.

And bub decides sleeping is for suckers.

It's daytime, in her mind. Yet she's also confused, overstimulated and tired.

Bub has a cry, mom has a cry.

Finally, after three hours of this: bliss.  FIVE hours of sleep ladies and gentlemen. I have so much energy today. Cleaning and sweeping and making plans. Brain is admittedly a little mushy. But you know.

Brain was mush yesterday going through quarantine as well. No less than three people in uniform asked me if I had any food. Most importantly, did we take any food off the aircraft? No. No. No.

Come home and discover three little packets of peanuts inside handbag.

Woops. Is this what is known as a "fail"?

Sleep Facts and Sweden

Sleep fact: three hours in a row is better than four spread out over the night. But one solid hour is better than a half hour.

Up throughout night with bub every 90 minutes. First wake at 8.30pm, that is to say - not even I was even in bed at that time. She's going for some kind of new record.

I know. Am harping on about sleep. It's true that parents speak of sleep like a starving person speaks of food.

Of course, keep hearing and reading about babies who sleep from 6 to 6 and such. Who nap for a total of 5 hours per day and still mommy gets concerned when they sleep less. 5 hours. You're fucking kidding me.

A friend had a baby at the same time as me. She seems to have a schedule allowing for bikram yoga and outings to cafes. Hmm. Jealous. Do not deny friend this. It's just that... are our babies actually from different planets?

I think I should be able to get back to yoga when bub is one year old. Hopefully. If all goes well.

We're still in Sweden. Have loved this time with family and friends. Bub travels quite well, am not concerned about jet lag. Doesn't sleep anyway etcetera.

Have one week to go. Going to be very sad to leave. But then... I get to spend some time in the Byron paradise so can't complain.