Gone Walkabout

So Blogger decided to lock me out. Suddenly password no good. Would not let me sign in via phone. Then laptop was malfunctioning. Laptop really is scheduled for retirement. Has been for years, even though I (the most technologically challenged person you are ever likely to come across) still sort of think it is new. Ish. A modest four years old.

Anyway. Decided to try again today. Was all like, have so much to write about! Would be great to have a blog! Oh! I doooo have a blog!

Have been very busy, ladies and gentlemen. In short summary we are no longer in Byron Bay. Decided to pack up life - cram it into the smallest room in the house (manland) and rent the rest out whilst we go walkabout.

Not something most people do when just had baby. But have always been bad at staying put. Stayed put for so long waiting for said baby. Now she is here, it's time to show her a little bit of the world. House will still be there when we want to come back. We hope.

Funny story there actually. Had somehow managed to push the door to manland shut and turned the key - squeezeed rest of worldly possessions (including baby stuff) into commodore and hit the road. All was well and good.

Got to Bellingen. All was well and good.

Then heard of massive hail storm which had passed through Byron hours after we left. Some damage to house. And garden. In a way happy didn't have to see it. Hubby has handyman lined up to sort out emergencies.

Honestly. Might be better to sell house and live permanently on houseboat in Brunswick (actual idea) or in winnebago (unlikely).

The Jungle

Got someone in to sort out the spider jungle (the front yard). Nick. And his underling, Nick. Today Nick brought a third dude to help, Nick.
The Nicks. Go figure.

Garlic

Many months ago hubby planted some garlic. Supposed to be really easy to grow (heard that one before).

Anyway, time of harvest has arrived. Behold:

Here is our garlic in comparison with garlic from farmers markets:

Cute little thing.

Headline

This little headline in local paper today... Laughing In My Face.

NOOOOOOO! It's all a lie!

Garden Update

So... a quick garden update.

Everything goes to seed before you can harvest it, herbs just die and a bunch of green worms just ate our broccoli.

In summary: Don't bother. They sell veggies at the farmers markets...

GRRR.

Maybe it is me. Just do not have ability to grow things.

The Thing About Lemons

Have always wanted a lemon tree. Who wouldn't.

So was very pleased to find one in Garden (also known as "the Jungle"):

The thing about it, however, is that for 51 weeks out of the year - have got no lemons.

Then, for 1 week out of the year - have got 100 lemons.

Topic of today's meditation: What does one do with 100 lemons?

George is Back

Picture of compost bin on stairs, back of house.

Look closely.

Close-up of area underneath stairs.

Uh-huh. Food scraps from the now empty compost bin! The plot thickens...

The main suspect.

GEORGE IS BACK!


(George = the Bush Turkey, keep up)

So George has found and new and creative way to wreak havoc in our world.

Hubby and I are currently engaged in silent battle over who will clean up food scraps.

Not to mention what to do next, about George. Can under NO circumstances allow situation to escalate - like last year. You know - the nesting in garden debacle and the long wars which followed.

One thing is for certain ladies and gentlemen. We are facing a tough enemy. Its stupidity is of no disadvantage to it - almost the contrary. A one track mind never stops.

Dragons and Gardens

What we had lunch with a few days ago when coming back from Sydney:

Dragons... very cool.

In other news neighbour on one side is positively IN LOVE with his grass-trimmer. When might be the best time to use grass-trimmer, you ask? Well, why not at 8 am on a Saturday morning? Every freaking week!!

They probably are of the opinion that myself and hubby could invest slightly more time into our garden (the jungle), which is bordering theirs. But am not sure.
No, I hesitate. Do not want to go up there pulling weeds and manicuring things to perfection. That is where red-belly lives, refer to previous post.

It is instead time to get house ready for visitors. Going to have people here for the next three weeks.

Wait. Maybe should meditate instead..?

Garden Waste People

Because we live in a jungle; we have a monthly service entitled "Garden Waste Collection." Without this, we would go under.

This basically means we have two huge "baskets" (approximately two times two metres each) for depositing weeds and, you know, assorted branches, leaves, vines and so on - that regularly need removing unless house is to be swallowed whole by nature.

Anyway, it has been a long-standing joke between myself and hubby that these "Garden Waste People" do not actually exist.

Yes, the baskets have been collected each month, no problems there. But for well over a year - we have never SEEN them. Several theories have included:

- They don't exist (I said that one already)
- They are aliens that collect green waste using super-silent and fast spaceship
- They are invisible
- We have seen them several times and even had coffee together, but simply forgotten (unlikely)


BUT today, coming back from beach, I have SEEN THEM! Was so excited had to rip out camera and snap photo. See!!!

That is the truck parked below driveway; one of our basket-thingys next to it. Also could observe a dude (from Earth) pushing them down drive-way using trolley.

So you see, everything has a natural explanation.

Another War?

According to Wikipedia (authority on everything, which you may these days use as a source for school-essays - yes really):

"Jumper ants cause more deaths in Tasmania than spiders, snakes, wasps, and sharks combined."

Jumper Ants... Not Jumping Ants like I said.

But am assuming they are the very same species now confirmed to have atleast one nest in garden. Possibly two.

Last thing we need after whole bush-turkey debacle last year. Seems assorted wildlife feel that our garden is fair game. Sanctuary of sorts. Suppose previous resident has put out this vibe. Her opinion was
"everything goes - except cats".

We would like to modify this somewhat, to, say - something like
"everything living on property will be expected to pay rent, if failing to do so, will be violently evicted using any means necessary - also cats still not welcome".

Things Ants do not like:
- Hot Water
- Vinegar
- Lemon
- Hubby

Sunrise and Ant-bites

Beautiful sunrise viewed from balcony...

Hear rest of state is experiencing torrential rain and floods - for once we are spared, having beautiful weather! Decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather by doing some well needed gardening - so now covered in what hope is ant-bites (as opposed to spider bites). If was bite from poisonous spider would most likely be already dead, so am not too worried about it.

Hi mom.

Discovered ant-nest in garden. Large ants which according to Swedish Neighbour are called "Jumping Ants." This is because they are very malicious and will aggressively jump at you in order to bite you. They have been harassing us and Neighbours for months. So it's payback time. Hubby is going... hrm... sort them out.

Cool Flower in Jungle

Might have briefly touched on the issue of having jungle where garden should be? Anyway, most awesome flower can now be seen in garden! How cool is this, I LOVE it - hubby had no interest in its awesomeness at all however.

Garden, Dogs and a... BUSH TURKEY BABY!

Lots has happened over the past couple of days. As have mentioned, life is like one big party.

Yes, am foreseeing a couple of hours of wrestling with laptop, cursing and crying in order to upload all the photos that I would ideally like to include in this post.

Does not matter anyway. And I will share with you why it does not matter : The Cricket is on telly. Refer to previous post about Cricket for further clarification.
So laptop - do your worst! Am in this for the afternoon...

Firstly, some new additions to Garden:

Lettuce, Dill (please do not die) and Marjoram.



Spent yesterday Dog-Sitting in Bangalow, these dogs (names cannot be revealed) have figured in this blog previously:

So cute!!!



Finally... the moment has arrived.

Have previously written extensively about Bush Turkeys. About our WAR with a Bush Turkey in which we reclaimed our Garden and Veggie Patch which they had destroyed. Well... it is the time of year when the baby-bush-turkeys have recently hatched, and are out and about scanning Gardens scheduled for future destruction. The babies are, needless to say perhaps, even dumber than their parents.

Behold what found its way into our living room this morning (and was frantically trying to get out by crashing its head repeatedly into a window - instead of exiting the same way it came in - through the open bi-fold doors).

Check out the foot!!!

Stupid and annoying... but CUTE! (the bush turkey, not hubby)

Gardening Again and a Lizard

Interim stage in veggie-garden:

After being away for couple of weeks, everything had (gardening-term:) gone to seed. Am lead to believe this means it has become useless, and you are better off digging it out and starting again. Again. Starting again, again.

Thinking perhaps growing your own veggies is over-rated activity, and there is a reason we created shops.

Herbs however, are going quite well.

If you are considering veggie patch, and would like my opinion, here it it:

Yes-List:
Mint
Basil, all kinds
Rosemary
Thyme
Celery
Lettuce (unless planning to be away, might go to seed)
Chilli
Parsley
Lemongrass
Japanese Greens
Native Plants
Marigolds

No-List:
Tomatoes
Cherry Tomatoes
Coriander
Leek
Eggplant
Spinach
Lavender
Chamomile
Most things that flower

Criteria used: is it easy to grow, and requires NO maintenance or nutrition? Yes-List.
Is it difficult to keep alive and requires any attention at all post planting? No-List.

The following guest in Garden yesterday..:

The Makings of an Ideal Wife

Look what happens when you make your own carrots:

Funny looking

Colourful!

Yes - domestic goddess.

On the subject of domestic-goddess-ness, have finally mastered the art of roasting veggies (I have used pumpkin in the example below). Do not believe this is something commonly done in Sweden (roasting) - or is that just my family?

Yes, yes, yes - (am patting self on back, congratulating self on being such an ideal wife - not my fault hubby is a bit annoyed just because he just now had to come in here to sort laptop out as the ideal wife was shouting "BAAAAAAABY the effing compuuuuter is not working agaaaain, get in here nooooow!")

Garden Update, Late Nights and some Handy Tips

Garden Update:

Out of control, mad tomato-vine, alas - no tomatoes...

The other side of the garden, post bush-turkey attack and subsequent recovery: looking good! Living in tropical rainforest has both disadvantages (such as bush-turkeys) and advantages (things grow back quickly after having been wiped out by bush-turkeys).

Had late night on Friday. Went to lovely cafe / restaurant called Harvest - out in middle of nowhere (like most places around here). Was treat from dogs we dog-sat. They are very thoughtful and want only the best for their carers.
Service was actually awesome (always something of a surprise) and they had prepared a couple of extra vegetarian options for us. Impressed!

Also had late night on Saturday. Enjoyed a champers (you guessed it, a bottle) with Louise on balcony before making way into town to catch Tijuana Cartel at the Northern. Imagine our surprise upon learning that band was not on until 11.30. PM!
Were dumbfounded. Overcome with bewilderment. Louise had to approach ticket-desk twice to confirm time. Had no idea how to last that long. But we did, it was fun apart from one guy that came dangerously close to being flogged.


Other than weekend of excess just gone - am pretty domesticated. Was thinking of interesting lists to add to blog, came up with one - then realised am going to have to redefine my idea of "interesting".

Handy Tips for a Successful Household:

1. Never permit bush-turkeys to nest in Garden (obviously)
2. Never forget to close screen-doors (you may encounter snakes inside house)
3. Never feed wild birds - they are very predatory (direct descendants of velociraptors)
4. Never plant vines, they are evil
5. Never cover cracks in walls with paint
6. Never hide cans of soft-drink around the house - your husband will find them
7. Never run out of coffee
8. Most importantly: NEVER clean wooden benches with Methylated Spirits

(fu&¤#"¤k!!!!!!)

Mazes and Nets (still at war?)

Realise storyline about bush-turkey starting to take on obsessive proportions.

Nevertheless, must share latest move in war.
You see, I do not believe we can have won so easily. No. Something is up. The bush-turkey is present somewhere around the house, awaiting the right time to make its move.
Therefore, is vital that we do not slack off, that we do not assume danger has past.

These are my latest tactics:

1.

Figured bush-turkey way too stupid to navigate its way through maze of bricks.
Was wrong. Saw it casually strolling through a number of times, eyeing off veggie-patch; most likely thinking something along lines of "Oh look - more material for the nest that I have temporarily taken a break from building, which I will resume building at my earliest convenience."

(Incidentally - my mind's bush-turkey always has a British accent. Curious.)


2.

Decided, on recommendation from organic-seedling-dude from farmers markets, to place net over garden. Easy enough?

Hubby and I just undertook this task - joyfully and with great ease, effortlessly cutting net to size and arranging it on bamboo poles, etcetera - all the while telling each other how lovely life is and how much we love each other.

Yeah - and pigs fly.

Eventually the bloody-stupid-net-thing was up, sort of.

We seem to have... a couple of gaps. Hopefully (fingers AND toes crossed) bush-turkey too stupid to notice gaps.

Hubby and I are now calming selves with nice soothing glass (read: bottle) of red wine.

Veggie patch, Take 2

Meanwhile, bush-turkey probably hiding in shrub - plotting and planning evil deeds...

It better not try anything.

Vegetarianism and wildlife conservation aside, any bush-turkey that finds itself within one metre of my veggie-garden, WILL hang.

Hopefully seedlings will not pick up on negative energy from previous seedlings that recently had their lives cut short by giant claws.

All About George

Garden, couple of weeks ago:

Garden, yesterday:

George's Nest, yesterday:

Conclusion: George-1, Household-1.

Both parties are eagerly anticipating the opposing sides next move. They may have won a battle, but we shall win the war.

Did a little googling regarding unfortunate situation of having nesting bush-turkeys in backyard.
Outlook is, to say the least, bleak. Many accounts hold true that once the turkeys have decided on a site for their nest, they are very one-track minded. Nothing will deter them.
Say you ruin the nest and put plastic tarps over the site (which is what have done) they simply say to themselves - “Oh well, nothing but a minor setback, we will just resume building on top of tarps!”

Hubby and I were discussing possible thought-patterns and emotions of bush-turkeys last night over dinner. Do they feel angry that you have messed with the nest, or sad, impatient..? Eventually reached conclusion that they most likely do not: Bush-turkeys may be the ultimate example of a being that lives entirely in the “now,” much like zen monks do. Meaning, they do not get bogged down in fruitless negativity – they do not think about effort and time wasted.

Therefore, trying to ruin a bush-turkey nest is entirely in accordance with hippie-lifestyle. We are just giving them more opportunities to practise “being present in the moment.”

I am also getting some well needed practise in “being present in the moment.”
Breathe in and feel your belly rise, breathe out and feel your belly sink, carry the heavy bucket across the yard, breathe in, tip the soil and leaves and other assorted rubbish out in the reserve, breathe out, refrain from breaking a bush-turkey's neck, breathe in, repeat...

Got war-strategy tip from organic-seedling-dude at Mullum Markets... Plant a foreign egg (like a chicken egg) on the nest-site... Bush-turkey will hate that, and might decide site thereby unattractive to females and move on.

Intuitively, have also placed a few lemons on nest-site. What animal likes lemons?

Riding Lesson and War Declaration

Lots has happened.

Firstly, dog-sitting going well – both dogs seem very happy and content. Why wouldn't they be – everything we do is based around them. Healthy lesson for hubby and I – having dogs is full-time work. At the same time, they are very giving. Love, love, love and affection. Sometimes they smell funny.

Yesterday got to venture out on little daytrip further up the coast (Commodore is dream to drive compared to “dog-car” which I am driving dogs around in; hubby not a fan of manual cars - Nor am I, but thought I would look cool in two-door four wheel drive - of course, I do).
Louise gave me little horse-riding session – was terribly rusty in saddle, horse kept stopping and refusing to move etcetera. Seemed strange to be so sore and sweaty based on mostly standing still.
But was still great, because as always say: Everyday you touch a horse is a good day. Is another one of my sayings (you know, like “a free coffee is a free coffee”).

Now over to today's rant.

This morning before dogs-beach-walk, hubby went to check on house; water gardens and so on. Only to find that pack of nest-building bush-turkeys have totally destroyed entire veggie patch. They have done a very thorough job. Not a bok choy left. Expensive magical soil all over ground...

Both went over to house after walk, with dog-duo, to assess damage and hopefully deter bush-turkeys with help of dogs.

Dogs, however, turned out to be peaceful creatures not in the least bit interested in barking at pile of leaves – instead they slept for a while on the verandah whilst hubby and I carried entire bloody nest, bucketful by bucketful, away from the property and spread it elsewhere.

Take back all previous comments that we like them, and want to allow the nesting and raising of chicks.
That was before they ruined veggie patch and destroyed each and every seedling. Now, it's war. It's revenge.

Do not care if it looks bad to seek revenge on a bird. IT started it!

It's on. War.