Tonsillitis

Bub is experiencing her very first case of tonsillitis. 

Am fearing the worst, naturally, thinking she'll be a real tonsill-bub like I was.Tonsillitis every few weeks between the ages of as-far-back-as-I-can-remember and bastards-got-removed-via-scalpel in 2000. 

I missed so much school I actually became convinced of the uselessness of main stream education. You do not need 12 years to learn how to read, write, do basic maths and talk your way out of gym-class. 

Different post. 

Unfortunately we'd just had bub vaccinated in the previous week. Jabs are due at 12 months here in Australia, but in Sweden the same ones are due at 18 months. In so far as I place any trust in authority at all, I'd take Sweden's advice over Australia's. Glass of fluoride, anyone? 

In the end we'd given in and booked the appointment even though our precious bundle is a mere 16 months. A week later 40 plus degree fever strikes with a vengeance, bub shaking and refusing to make eye contact with me. 

Was overcome with horror, convinced she may never bounce back (forgetting fact of it being middle of night, and bub probably wanted to get back to sleep - wondering why has mom suddenly gone mad insisting on cold shower, change of clothes and yucky tasting medicine when all I want to do is sleep..? 

One sleepless night later I drag bub to the medical centre, mad hair and stressed look - shouting about reactions to vaccines and not having an appointment and I need a doctor now -  when the most amazing thing happens. 

My doctor is standing right there in the reception area. She has her jacket and a coffee - on her break perhaps - but she ignores the reception lady who says I can wait an hour, says "No - I will see her now!" 

Five minutes later I am once again convinced of the relative safety and scientific benefits of vaccines; bub is not suffering a reaction to them - she has tonsillitis. I'm like... Ahaaaaaa... well, that explains it. 

How to give a 16 month old her medicine:

1. Figure out how to open the damn bottle

2. Figure out how to use the useless bloody measuring device

3. Get husband to hold down baby's extremities

4. Try to pry open baby's mouth whilst at the same time not spilling medicine

5. Hold baby's nose (whilst feeling like worst parent ever. EVER.)

6. Scrape as much of the medicine as possible from baby's neck, cheeks, arms - try to shove it back down her throat again 

7. Optimistically assume atleast some of the medicine has been swallowed

8. Comfort baby

9. Clean yourself, furniture and floor which are covered in sticky medicine

10. Just go to bed

Hijacked?

Hijacked? Er, ok. Would never have been my first guess but... I don't know, it somehow feels less frightening than the notion that a plane can simply disintegrate midair. Not, of course, if one were on plane when being hijacked.

In other news have managed to give self severe case of conjunctivitis. How, I kept asking myself, could this have happened?  Then it dawned on me. Forgot to change contacts this month. Buuuuuugger. First time in 17 years. Reward; red itchy eyes into which hubby now has to administer eye drops while I gratefully shout hurry the f... up ok!

Organic Produce

Cooking only organic for bub. Of course.

It's proving difficult at times. The "organic" shelf at woolies in Batemans Bay had mouldy corn, mushrooms on the verge of being inedible, and some... carrots. Bub doesn't have carrots.

Was fuming. Enough to forget about air disasters for five minutes.

What is going on here? People care nothing for their own health or that of their children, but shit like Kim Kardashian and who wins Big Brother - is important?

It's craaaazy I tells ya.

I'm sure going to appreciate the beautiful organic produce we have available to us in the northern rivers when we get back.

Unless our flight disappears on the way.

Further more

There are many things to attend to during afternoon nap. I mean, it's not always possible to make it to the pool. There's facebook, for instance. And the blog.

Fitness

My sister started a fitness blog. Yeah I know, it's like we're not even related. It lists what I assume to be various exercises undertaken in a gym. Cannot be too sure though, as faith thus far has not placed a gym in my path.

You're thinking; "she's never been to a gym in 29 years!?"

Ok, 33. Whatever.

Nope. Thought about it once. Then left it at that.

So anyway; my sister has a fitness blog.

It's great for... you know. People who like fitness. 

In Swedish; here. 

This is the type of thing my sister does:

Raka marklyft

4 x 12 50kg

Cablekicks raka
3 x 10 20kg

Liggande bencurl baksida
2 x 8 41kg
2 x 8 34kg

This has inspired me to summarize MY efforts to get fit. You see, have gotten into a bit of a routine here!

Bub's first nap: 30 min. jog around block. Well ok, walk. And ok, 20 min.
Return home. Drink glass of water (try not to think about flouride). Stretch. Do 16 situps. Try to do 8 more. Give up. Do 16 push ups. Haha. Do 3 push ups. Lie down for 5 minutes. Bub wakes up.

Bub's second nap: 30 min (or thereabouts) swim in pool. Unless pool full of kids.
Get home. Have a coffee as very good for digestion. Bub wakes up.

Been meaning to eat better too. Unfortunately today's lunch was peanut butter toast. Since stopped breastfeeding have become obsessed with peanut butter. 

Also bub keeps changing things up, so... hard to stick to it and such. 

Valid reasons to cancel include:

• rain
• too much sun
• too late in the morning
• bub been awake since 3am 
• too hungry
• no clean socks

Mad Scales

It's not a secret that I have no understanding of anything operated by pressing of buttons and reading of screens. For example the telly, laptop, phone or alarm clock.

In fact as recently as this morning hubby yelled at me "learn how to use your phone!" He didn't say "fucking phone" - pardon my french - as then he would have lost 10 bucks to the swear jar.

Hubby and I are trying to stop swearing. Since a couple of days ago.

We each started with $100 in credit. I am now on -$180. MINUS.

Back to my point.

The scales. The mad high tech scales belonging to my sister-in-law. They display digital numbers and are operated by pressing buttons. Therefore impossible for me to use.

I did figure out, however, what my current weight is. I flew into a wild panic (I even went for a 30 minute swim in the local pool).

Scales had proceeded to tell me my bmi. I was obese. OBESE.

So I thought. Until hubby figured out that this, surely, was an impossibility. How on earth could scales know my height? I don't know, I sobbed in a obesity induced panic - they just, like, DO!

Hubby reckons that at some point in time my sis-in-law has typed her height into scales, as if scales were a computer. And this info is used to calculate bmi. HER bmi.

Very relieved. Very pleased to know that am in fact NOT obese. Sis-in-law is a good 20 centimeters shorter than me.

Nevertheless will try to do more exercise and stop eating so much. Got into bad habit when was breastfeeding and sleep deprived. Was looking beautifully emaciated there for a bit. Oh how quickly things can change!

Day 13: this makes me feel better

Hmm.

Laptop broke down again.

Strike everything said about what makes me upset; replace with "stupid effing laptops and most other technology."

It is here now. But perhaps time to start looking round for different set-up..?

Anyway, had another tooth pulled out, which was equally pleasant and nice as previous time. Actually was better. Started to freak out for some reason - so got given lovely sedative drugs; which thoroughly enjoyed. Am usually quite clean-living so all this drug-taking is a novel reminder of days gone by. Slept all day that day, then laptop broke down.

So what makes one feel better when depressed, is the question?

1. Chocolate
2. Wine
3. A full season of Desperate Housewives on DVD

Glad that is clarified.

Day 11: this upsets me

Oh dear. Big, big headline.

Many things upset me. Should probably divide these into a "main" category and a "secondary" category; as not all of the things which upset me are of equal importance. Personally think it is very good that I can see that. Not everybody can make this distinction.


MAIN

1. Eating Animals; the callous rearing, slaughtering (often in disgusting torture-chambers known as feedlots) and consuming of sentient beings under the false pretence that "we are carnivores."
Newsflash: we are anything but. Physically and biologically we are, in fact, (most like) herbivores. We can be classified as omnivores; based on the fact that humans are opportunistic eaters, and can eat anything (pretty much). But just because we can digest meat, does not suggest that we should.
A dog is a carnivore. I am not advocating feeding your dog steamed broccoli and pine nuts for dinner. It does upset me however, the a lot of people would prefer the same eating habits as the (biologically different) dog; than see common sense.

2. Plastic Pollution (land and ocean).
Have already touched upon this one a few days ago...

3. Religion
Basically all religions, across the board. Some, clearly, more than others. Whilst some religions are relatively harmless; their very existence is slightly upsetting to me because of what they pave the way for and encourage: that is to say, the rest of the evil lot. Religions do and have historically done nothing but lie, deceive, hate, oppress and line its own pockets. Religion has always been, and is still to some extent, a reason to instil fear, encourage war and dis-empower people.
There is an argument that if there were no religion, people would find a way to do these things anyway. That may be true, but by definition does not excuse it. One problem at a time...
(I do not believe religion and spirituality are the same thing)

4. Mainstream media.
Are we really that stupid..?

5. Coal Seam Gas mining (CSG).
This might be one of the greatest threats to our water-supplies and health today. Lock the gate.


SECONDARY

1. Justin Bieber and Justin Bieber's fanbase.
Seeing JB's popularity and viewing pictures of screaming teenage girls ("fans") makes me doubt the entire future of humankind. It also beggars the question - "do we even deserve to survive?" With the unavoidable answers being "probably not."

2. Obesity.
Western society spends billions of dollars researching and attempting to "fix" something which is a non-issue. All this glorious cash should be spent feeding the hungry; now there's a real issue.
The solution to the obesity crisis is very simple. It is this: Stop bloody eating and get off your ass. McDonalds, KFC and the honourable Dr Atkins have done us no favours.
So if we could atleast agree to stop squandering money on fat people, once and for all realise that a plant-based wholefoods diet does not make you fat (even if you have chocolate sometimes!) and start concetrating on what's really important.

3. Commercial breaks on TV.
It is just ridiculous. Trying to watch a show or a movie on telly these days; you end up watching more ads than anything else. Suppose is good things though, as has reduced television watching to a minimum (do still watch shows and movies, just not on TV).

4. Traffic.
In particular all other drivers.

5. Cold weather!
Hate layer upon layer of clothing and two thick doonas on bed - summer, come back!


Phew!

I never push my opinions on other people.

This is my blog so I can say what I want.

Excuse Me

Need a short break.

Had wisdom-tooth pulled out.

(do not read if squeamish)

Was first time. You see, have had all my wisdom-teeth since about age 16. No problem. Now, out of the blue, they all have to go. At around 200 bucks a pop, happy happy.
Have got this unique problem - cannot open mouth very widely. Something went wrong in the construction of the jaw-bones, meaning basically cannot open up very wide, and when forced to it is incredibly painful. More painful, in fact, than the actual pulling of the tooth.

Dentist, after 15 minutes or so of poking around in there, asked could I please try to open mouth more. Of course could not answer, with all the dental equipment and hands in mouth; but let's just say was already in state of panic whimpering like drowning kitten holding on to chair like life depended on it. So no, could not open mouth more.

Basically to pull a tooth, they grab hold of it and rock back and forth for ages. Can hear menacing crunching sounds inside your head, meanwhile feeling like entire skull is being dislocated.

Eventually dentist was saying - might have to leave it in there and have you put under general anesthesia. At that point thought; heeeeell no - have come this far; keep pulling damnit! So after about another 10 minutes, damned tooth was out.

Awesome. One down, three to go.

Naturally have now got infection. Fever and discomfort. But cannot eat at all, so great for weight-loss.

Day 5: this would have been nice to eat today

Hmm. What? Stupid list.

Today would like to eat pretty much the same stuff as every other day.

What would like to eat:
Pizza
Ice-Cream
Chocolate
Lasagna (loaded with cheese)
Pancakes
Coke

What will eat, instead:
Rice Noodles
Fruit
Chocolate (is good for you)
Broccoli
Mushrooms
Spirulina-drink

So you see, it's all in the mind. In fact, will go make delicious Spirulina-drink right now. Mmm.

Deep green deliciousness...





You wish you had one.

Molasses Muffins

Decided to experiment with a new ingredient yesterday.

Had been informed by various sources (mainly alternative health, naturopaths and so on) that molasses is great to eat, an excellent source of this-that-and the-other. So bought some. Thought, is like sugar, is it not? It is not.

Mother was horrified when told and tried convincing me that molasses is stuff that cows eat. And horses, sometimes. Not people!

Decided to ignore mother, and googled some "healthy" recipes for molasses-muffins. Got to work.
Put everything together, slightly concerned about horrid smell and awful oily appearance of molasses. Nevermind, hubby and I said, it will be better once it's cooked.

Once cooked, muffins looked great! Fluffy, beautiful colour - what one might expect from a muffin.

The first bite was bad. The second bite was terrible. After the third bite I was crying.
Hubby, knowing it is not safe to criticize my cooking - made choking noises and claimed muffins to be worst thing he had ever eaten in entire life, all categories. Assuming this includes revolting oyster-shots he used to drink - this is very bad judgement.

Healthy molasses-muffins now sitting on bench ridiculing me. Accusing me of wasting food if I do not eat all of them. All TEN of them...

Temporarily I forget my greater goal (becoming a hippy) and curse silently to self; Bloody hippies and their bloody health... triple choc vanilla muffins - here I come!

Don't be fooled!

Milk-Run

A final pic from Bangalow "Young Dog Napping" I call it.

Following are some snaps from the place I buy milk, which reluctantly drink based on advise provided by professional health-care-individual (who may or may not know what they are talking about) but plan on going back to being vegan just as soon as possible (mean, of course - "eating a vegan diet" as could never BE vegan, much in same way could never BE feminist - just do not have the passion).

Anyway. The milk.

The wee ones...

And... on the way to the veal farm..?

How could you eat these..?

Rescue Remedy!

Last year had applied to course in Creative Writing, which was very excited about - and pinned all future hopes on. In the end course got cancelled.

They are offering it again this year.

Will I apply?

Possible upsides: Meeting interesting people; becoming successful author.
Possible downsides: Meeting tiresome eccentrics; not becoming successful author.

Hmm. Hmm.

Have noticed some indecision in myself recently.

Luckily, there is a cure. For everything. Had not previously heard of miracle that is Rescue Remedy.

According to Wikipedia, Rescue Remedy has never been proven to have any efficacy at all beyond the placebo-effect. This does not worry me at all, as have long held belief that most medications work in this way.* So, Rescue Remedy is bound to work better than most medications - given that it contains brandy.

Just tried if for a headache. Gone!

Will have some later for indecision.

Then some for hearing scratching and shuffling noises in roof (could, admittedly, be possum).

Then some for becoming hysterical at mere sight of tree-snake (not a sustainable situation given location of house and size of garden).

Then some for insomnia.

This really is fantastic. Have found the hippy version of Valium! Which is nice because did not feel like going to doctors again lying about being afraid of flying and needing something for a long-haul flight - oh-valium-really-well-if-you-say-so-yes-I-know-it's-addictive-now-hand-em-over.

You know.

--


*Not, however, Nurofen. Nurofen is bloody great. Unfortunately it may no longer be part of ones life once one has decided to take a more, shall we say, mindful and enlightened, path. No drugs for me, no thanks. Hand me the bottle of Rescue Remedy instead!