Fish Drama

I mentioned previously on this blog that we had found ourselves living in a house with its very own fishpond. Suddenly pet-count was up from 1 to 32. Like, approximately.

Ponds are a genuinely bad idea. To top it off previous owners had drawn electricity to pond using totally insane and utterly illegal methods. Our electrician could not believe his eyes. Bill to fix; hefty. We death-defyingly left electrical mess as was.

Then suddenly had light bulb moment. Placed ad on gumtree re free fish, available for pick up. For some inexplicable reason we had loads of interest.

Fish are gone.

Woop.

But.

Two remain.

In the "hospital pond". This is a second, much smaller, pond built by previous owners. No electricity.

Anyway. Two sick fish. Asked hubby to kill them. Asked many times. Nagged,  you could say. Until this morning. Argued. Shouted. Kill the damn fish. Dammit.

Hubby decided to call me on it. Why him? Why can't I kill them? He's a fricking vegan. Couldn't think of anything to say so before I knew what was happening, had said fine. Fine. I will kill them. But never ask me how I did it.

How the freaking hell am I going to kill two fish???

Dramatic Morning in Bangalow

Dog-sitting in Bangalow again - and just had very dramatic morning. Thought worthy of blog, as has been slightly neglected of late.

Anyway, is beautiful morning so had all screen-doors open running in and out watering plants etcetera. Figured would be ok to leave doors open in such a manner as dog-smell surely would repel wildlife.

Suddenly spot huuuuge lizard on verandah. Start to wonder what kind of lizard it might be and also trying to be very still so dogs will not wake up and make a run for the lizard. Then life turns to slowmotion as if in movie. See lizard head for open screen-door. Am thinking NOOOO! but am too far away and in wrong part of house to stop it. It has entered in the kitchen. Slowly I get up and go towards the kitchen to try and chase lizard out before dogs catch wind of anything going on. Plan immediately fails.

You see, any time one heads for the kitchen - dogs follow in vain hope of getting food. I arrive in kitchen closely followed by dogs; who used to be two placid golden retrievers but have now rapidly turned into mad growling bloodhounds. Knowing hubby will kill me if lizard gets injured; grab bloodhounds and shove them into closest room with door - which happens to be the bathroom. Dogs go in bathroom, door closed firmly.

Dogs very confused about their new situation and are barking. But cannot be helped - cannot allow them to devour lizard. Also, cannot swear there are no venomous lizards...

A few anxious minutes follow during which I am chasing lizard with newspaper, trying to convince it to head back outside. Eventually, it does.

Breathe sigh of relief. Close screen-doors. Go to grab dogs which are barking in bathroom.

Open door. Except. Do NOT open door. What the? Try again. Nope. Nothing. Door definitely LOCKED. Think long list of swear-words. How on earth have dogs locked door? Think-think-think.

Window! I get outside the house, through spider-infested back alley - lift screen off window - open window, which - thank god - is unlocked, and climb in through window. Am wearing pyjamas throughout all of this.

Dogs very excited to see me coming through window. We open the doors and exit...


They are still at screen-doors keeping an eye out for the lizard...

Day 21: my fears

Used to be very afraid of birds. Unfortunately, for me, everybody in hubby's family have got atleast one bird.

Hubby's Bird which has sadly gone to heaven:

Parents in Law's Bird:

Am not afraid anymore. Of anything.

Milk-Run

A final pic from Bangalow "Young Dog Napping" I call it.

Following are some snaps from the place I buy milk, which reluctantly drink based on advise provided by professional health-care-individual (who may or may not know what they are talking about) but plan on going back to being vegan just as soon as possible (mean, of course - "eating a vegan diet" as could never BE vegan, much in same way could never BE feminist - just do not have the passion).

Anyway. The milk.

The wee ones...

And... on the way to the veal farm..?

How could you eat these..?

Young Dog

Young Dog sleeping on her back, all four paws in air - dreaming that she is running. Hilarious. Dogs are so cool. Can learn a lot from them. Like "always be happy."

What Dogs Do

Dog-sitting, the usual suspects. Favourite golden retrievers.

Have certainly come to understand how much dogs love people.

-They sleep outside your bedroom door (instead of cushions provided).
-They enter bedroom and climb into bed with you as soon as given half a chance (half a chance is when hubby gets up to go to toilet at extremely early hour and leaves the door ajar).
-They sit on your yoga mat during morning-yoga-routine, and lick your face when trying to meditate in dead-body-pose.
-They stand between your feet when making breakfast, lunch and dinner - each time equally hopeful that the food might be for them.
-They sit at your feet and look at you devotedly whilst you are watching telly or typing on the laptop.
-If you let them out in the garden, they find a window through which they can see you; and stand there watching you lovingly and longingly.
-When you walk past them, or give them a look - they immediately plonk down on the floor in pet-me-position, in the case of Young Dog this means on her back with her leg in the air.
-They smile when you talk baby-talk to them.

We love our (on loan) babies!

Holiday?

Going to be very busy looking after dogs again, realise blog has had just about enough dog-pictures - so will hop on next when have got something interesting to say - which is not dog-related!

Almost like mini-holiday.

Sad...

A very sad day today as we farewell our much loved little birdie.

Thanks for helping me overcome my fear of birds! See you again.

Happy travels Faygo!

Bird Dramas & Thinking of Food (as usual)

Our little pet-bird is sick: entire life revolving around looking after him, cannot put him down at all to attend to things like bathroom cleaning etcetera.

Poor little birdie - going to try another type of antibiotic than the one he is on now, and hope he pulls through. He is already at an advanced age for this kind of bird, and has been ill since Christmas. Still, you have never seen anything so sad as a bird which cannot fly, perch or eat...

Have got visitors coming this week! Hope weather cooperates and stops being crappy, like right now. Am bit nervous as to what food to prepare. Mother is expert at cooking for millions of people at once - but honestly I do not know how she does it. At a stretch I can manage four people, beyond that am like "let's order pizzas!"

Said to mother I might make a large batch of pasta and tomato-sauce with delicious garlic-bread. Mother was horrified. Apparently is unacceptable hostess-behaviour to serve spaghetti and sauce. Do not see why!? Everyone loves pasta - although they like to deny it.

Was going to buy a BBQ, alas all BBQ's in town sold out until end of month. Typical.

Though, atleast, this will spare me the task of explaining to a bunch of aussies why we do not permit meat on our barbie...

Garden, Dogs and a... BUSH TURKEY BABY!

Lots has happened over the past couple of days. As have mentioned, life is like one big party.

Yes, am foreseeing a couple of hours of wrestling with laptop, cursing and crying in order to upload all the photos that I would ideally like to include in this post.

Does not matter anyway. And I will share with you why it does not matter : The Cricket is on telly. Refer to previous post about Cricket for further clarification.
So laptop - do your worst! Am in this for the afternoon...

Firstly, some new additions to Garden:

Lettuce, Dill (please do not die) and Marjoram.



Spent yesterday Dog-Sitting in Bangalow, these dogs (names cannot be revealed) have figured in this blog previously:

So cute!!!



Finally... the moment has arrived.

Have previously written extensively about Bush Turkeys. About our WAR with a Bush Turkey in which we reclaimed our Garden and Veggie Patch which they had destroyed. Well... it is the time of year when the baby-bush-turkeys have recently hatched, and are out and about scanning Gardens scheduled for future destruction. The babies are, needless to say perhaps, even dumber than their parents.

Behold what found its way into our living room this morning (and was frantically trying to get out by crashing its head repeatedly into a window - instead of exiting the same way it came in - through the open bi-fold doors).

Check out the foot!!!

Stupid and annoying... but CUTE! (the bush turkey, not hubby)

A Little Spring Cleaning

Got told the other day that I look very tanned. Immediately became paranoid and assumed was probably halfway to melanoma. Is not like when someone thinks you are too thin - and you are delighted - being too tanned DownUnder is equal to being suicidal, old-fashioned, uncaring, unhealthy and so on.

May as well give up right now, open a bottle of wine and light up a ciggie?

No. Anyway - therefore decided it best to avoid sun for a few days. Naturally, weather is displaying clear blue sky, sun and 35 degrees.

Solution? Spring-cleaning.

Yes, realise is middle of summer. But better late than never.

Here is some evidence of what I consider step one of a proper house-clean: Throw out everything that can be moved in order to clear space and gain easy access for cleaning:

(that is the bird in the middle - he enjoys being outdoors, also hates vacuum cleaner)

Step two: clean. Step three: watch Dr Phil, feel exhausted thanks to heat, and wonder why you just dumped entire contents of house outside.

Demanding Fish

Once upon a time, a previous resident of this dwelling thought to themselves - "I know - let's dig a hole at a randomly chosen spot in the backyard, dress it with black plastic, pour in water - and add loads of fish!"

Said and done. As you can see here...

The time came for this previous resident, who we shall not name, to move on.
They proceeded to discover the great difficulty involved in relocating fish - let alone entire hole in ground, which they referred to (rather generously) as "pond."

Solution: Leave fish in pond; leave little tub of fish-food and list of care instructions - and make a run for it.

Thus hubby and I ended up with, what we think is in the neighbourhood of 40, fish.

And a sign on fridge saying "Feed the Fish!!" - as gentle reminder for self. Fish need to eat even if raining outside and do not feel like going out.

By the way, it is not true that fish only remember anything for 30 seconds. Is myth.
They always remember that seeing me with fish-food tub means they will soon eat. I can tell, as they open their mouths and start swimming around in circles like mad.

Like mad fish?

Dog Pictures (home again!)

Arrived home yesterday after dog-sitting finished.
Obviously, have been home a couple of times in the interim to fight ongoing war against bush-turkey. Seems we may have already won. Hubby says it's atleast 3-1 in our favour. They have simply run out of material.

Ironically, hubby has had two Wildlife Rescue missions. Both regarding injured and distressed bush-turkeys. One is in house as we speak. Mentioned the possibility of it... meeting with an accident... Not to worry, hubby is protecting it with own life if necessary.

Dog-Duo Snaps!!:

Rural Dog-Sitting!

We're dog-sitting.

Only 20 minutes drive from central Byron Bay, yet feel as though in middle of outback – in perfectly rural setting – can actually see a cow from where am writing at dining table. Screen doors closed to keep snakes out; is early in morning but am guessing it's around 24 degrees out there.

There is no internet.
(Blog updated later at internet cafe)

NO INTERNET! Palpable feelings of light panic.

Then realise this is good. Brought trusty laptop anyway. Going to make great start on novel.* Nothing to distract me. Not sure where radio is. Obviously will not watch telly in middle of day, what will the dogs think.

Went through usual mad rush in morning (Sunday) to get organised for what feels almost like a weeks holiday. Because going away to rural setting, not being home, and all that.

Commodore packed to the max. Bird, bird's accessories, yoga stuff, a million towels just in case (you never know when you might need a couple of clean towels), clothes for warm weather, clothes for cold weather, bikini, pyjamas and FOOD. Packed up entire fridge. Would under no circumstances like to run out of food.

Have two strange obsessive-compulsive behaviours that hubby reckons must have inherited from Mother:

One -
Am terrified of running out of food. Always ensure am stocked up, in case world economy collapses I know we will be alright for a couple of weeks.

Two -
Am terrified of running out of toilet-paper. Always have been. Mother let me grow up thinking it was normal to keep entire cupboards full of supermarket mega-packs of toilet-rolls. This led to a few conflicts whilst hubby and I were still in share-house situations. Imagine it, toilet-paper was not a priority for anybody else but me – would discover once again down to last roll (between five people) and have absolute mental breakdown until someone packed themselves off to the shops if it was their turn. Amazingly, they would mostly return with a four-pack. A FOUR-pack. Enough for a day in my books.

Sorry, didn't mean to go off on tangent about toilet-paper.

The dogs are very depressed at the moment (Sunday).
Owner has just left. Dogs remaining close by door just in case Owner returns unexpectedly. Top Dog experiencing certain stomach troubles as result of stress caused by Owner's departure. But I have been very kind and given Top Dog a shower. Three times.

Hubby, of course, has very important Wires course about baby-birds to attend – so he will return later when dogs are settled and everything back to normal.
Men. You can count on them in times of need.

For the purposes of giving dogs the best and safest of care – we have divided them between us. Decision about who watches who was made by me, based on personality-type analysis.
When out on beach or other walks, I will be responsible for Top Dog. Top Dog is calm, contemplative and will do what asked (like myself). Hubby will be responsible for Young Dog - which is wild, impulsive and will do what she feels like doing (like hubby).

Cannot name dogs, need to protect their identity.

*Regarding novel: It seems to me I have been meaning to write one all my life. Yet, opportunity presents itself – and cannot even come up with vague storyline. Definitely not something based on own life.

Story of the Mini Horses

Have been blogging for little while now - high time to mention The Mini Horses.

The Mini Horses are, unsurprisingly, a group of very small horses. Apart from size, they look in every way exactly like large horses.

Rather improbably, given rest of my life and history - am a little obsessed with horses.
They are fine animals, I say regularly. At the same time they manage to scare the living daylights out of me most of the time during actual interaction (as opposed to merely thinking about them) - yet am drawn back there to... conquer the fear, as it were - to connect with the horse on a spiritual level through appropriate breathing methods and inner calm; you know.

Most people are of the considered opinion that horses are moody and untrustworthy - at times am inclined to agree. However, have had just enough good moments with them to suspect otherwise. In light of all of those things; wanted to start my new opposite-of-corporate-hell-career working with these fine animals. Is what really wanted to do.
And in any case, it had to be better than dealing with people.

Said and done, basically manifested little job at equestrian centre nearby - and most of the workload turned out to be looking after the Minis! Was perfect in every way. Was truly a chance to hang out with horses and learn about their temper (and general care-instructions), whilst at the same time not being perpetually terrified - as Minis not much larger than golden retrievers.

Of course, could not ride them. Strictly for-companionship-only animals. And they require lots of care. Was eventually going to ride some of the bigger horses, unfortunately job fell through before had chance to approach massive beasts with a request to sit on top of them for a while.

It will happen! One day will have own cuddly little horsie to look after. Until then...

Fear of Birds

Under siege today by a totally deranged bird. It was sitting on the verandah peering at us through the open doors and chirping in a most please-feed-me-am-a-baby-and-have-just-been-abandoned-by-mother sort of way. This insane bird actually went so far as to fly INTO house, in spite of hubby reassuring me in new authoritative WIRES-volunteer voice that birds would never do such a thing. Hubby chased bird out, as I ... well... ehm... ran away and hid in the bathroom.

Have a healthy respect for birds (that is to say, am terrified of them; they are evil and directly descended from velociraptors and so on - check out the eyes) so made the logical choice to close the doors and consume my lunch on the lounge.

Bird - 1, Anna - 0.

Last we checked it was still sitting on the verandah looking in - it even followed us around the house when we went to kitchen, and proceeded to sit outside kitchen window... (potential horror-movie script perhaps?)

Hubby would like to add, for the record and so all things are clear etcetera, that bird is definitely NOT deranged OR insane. Is the fault of silly people who feed native wild birds and render them incapable of looking after themsel... OH my God, it is outside the office window!!!
I may never go outside again.

Whilst we are on the subject of birds - hubby actually has a pet bird. In beginning of relationship my (then) uncontrollable fear of it was a source of great amusement to him. He would cruelly let it out of cage then watch and laugh as I screamed, cried and hid under the covers on the bed. After the first five years I started to get used to the bird, and now can handle it quite well. Admittedly is very small parrot.

Only a person with a true phobia of something might be able to understand my ill advised fear of this:

Hubby laments the fact that I am no longer plunged into full blown panic-mode when bird is extracted from cage - thus he has lost his primary tool with which to torment me. This is what happens when you are together long enough.
Not that you wish to torment each other, everybody does that - but that you will admit it.

Wonder if hubby has hidden agenda when saying that he is planning to build aviary in backyard for purposes of nursing birds back to life after they have met with an accident?

Surely not.