Octopus arms

In my new series "helpful hints for new moms" part one:

How many arms do you need to breastfeed in public?

1 - to hold baby.
2 - to hold breastfeeding equipment.
3 - to hold down baby's flailing escapee arms.
4 - to hold scarf or similar over self and baby for modesty.
5 - to hold coffecup.
6 - to hold phone.
7 - to keep waking up baby which keeps falling asleep like time is of no consequence and you do not care about exposing selves in public.
8 - to give middle finger to onlookers (optional).

Also, breastfeeding hurts. Many Byron women make it look easy and natural and this can make you feel a total failure as a mother for not turning into "Madonna with child" within five minutes. You're not alone.